Best Posts in Thread: The bad thing that happened to you today.(Venting thread)

Went to dinner with my girlfriend and her parents + sisters yesterday. First time I had ever spent more than five minutes in her family's company.

Started alright, dished out some pretty sweet smalltalk, got to Nandos. Things took a turn for the worst, however, when we were told we'd have to wait for 15 minutes for a table. This resulted in the six of us waiting by the door, menus in hand, with barely any chatter (her family, while nice, are infamously non-talkative).

We get to the table and her dad catches on that I still have no idea what to order. I explain that I'm not a big fan of chicken and have never been to a Nandos before, but I'm sure it'll be fine. I think he interpreted this as me needing help, however, so he spent a few minutes explaining how the menu works to me.

After I had figured out a dish (butterfly burger?) it came to deciding the sauce. Now, I showed some apprehension going for the spicier sauces (there's like, a tier list) due to my experience with the spiciness of Portugese cuisine compared to normal spiciness, so he went across the restaurant and got me several 600ml glass bottles of the sauces for me to dap on a tissue and try. The stuff literally wouldn't come out, however, so I had to hold it while my girlfriend pounded the end.

Surprisingly, no catastrophe occured with the first bottle, but I decided it was too spicy for my liking. So, it came to the second bottle. Same procedure; gf hitting the end while I held it.

I got some on the tissue and gently lowered the bottle down to the table, where it immediately exploded.

Half our table was now covered in about 600ml of Nando's Medium PERi-PERi Sauce, with the glass shattering in all directions. A shard swept across her mum's finger, causing a cut that required two plasters from the kitchen to stop the bleeding.

In the awkward silence that immediately followed, I could only do the natural thing - dipping my finger in the motionless puddle of sauce, tasting it and then announcing that "Actually, this one's alright."

tl;dr 20mins into dinner with my gf parent's and I made her mother bleed

 

Picked up my mums phone to quickly google something

last search: how to have fun in the bedroom again

oh god why

 

Meh, nothing wrong with fucking her sister/mom/aunt/daughter per se. It gets a bit iffy when someone gets pregnant, but considering genetically handicapped people also aren't banned from reproducing...

 

So I got invited to a book launch by one of my seminar leaders from two semester's ago after meeting him for tea.

Woke up late and hurriedly ate and got dressed. Tried on about 3 outfits until my gf and housemates all agreed I looked 'mature' enough to not stand out amongst all the academics.

Put on my glasses and a nice shirt to look a bit smart and academicy (as I was going to be the only student there)

Tried to wikihow book launch etiquette.

When I turned up to the room I discovered I was a week early

 

Now this not seem like a big deal, but we've had a pretty large potato sitting on the side for the past 4 days, and I looked at it yesterday and said to it "You're going to become a jacket potato and i'm going to fuck you up for dinner tomorrow".

My mother also went and bought very small potatoes to cook with her dinner that she was eating tonight, as I told her that I was going to eat separately from her because I was looking forward to said jacket potato.

Go into the kitchen to start cooking my dinner and my potato is gone. I immediately ask my mum "What have you done with the potato" and she replies "Oh, I used it in my dinner."

NO! NO! Why would you do that! I specifically told you yesterday that I was going to eat that! You even went and bought your own potatoes that were smaller and didn't require cutting up! THAT POTATO WAS FOR BAKING.

Jesus christ. Some fucking people. I can't wait to get back to uni where I can leave my potatoes on my counter without some blithering degenerate deciding to eat it.

Edit: My skyrim save also got corrupted that I've been playing non-stop all week.

 

sexual object

 

>Grammar School
>Not Irish
>Year 7 fell head first down a stairwell due to Vaseline

 

Fuck off Sainsbury's if I want a treat I don't expect you to turn it into a punishment

 

still surprised that your ID actuallly works

 

Coincidental timing now everyone in gm started playing it


;;;;;;)))

 

Maybe she just likes pricks

 

dan's eagerness to boast and appear significant leads me to conclude that he's most certainly not severely insecure and overcompensating

and his penis cannot possibly be teeny-tiny

 

My mum ran up the stairs, pushed open my door, just to tell me the royal baby was a boy.

fucking christ woman

 

Emulated Fire Red last night with the Universal Pokemon Randomiser, which lets you change some settings around. A bit unambition; just set it so that Pokemon that would normally only evolve when traded now naturally do so at level 37 and that the three starting choices are randomised to be any Pokemon with three evolution stages.

Oak's choices, then, were Oddish, Geodude and Abbra. As I always aim for an Alakazam everytime I play Pokemon, the choice was obvious.

I only realised my mistake when Blue challenged me to the first tutorial fight and I discovered the only thing I could do is spam Teleport.

abbra challenge mode here i come