Funny pic thread! :D

I thought this was really awesome - nearly in tears mind but it was really touching:

 

>be 16
>6 AM
>riding bike home from sleepover at friend's house
>otterstackingcups.gif
>ride up the lane
>see 14yo cousin puking her guts out
>LOL you're drunk
>cousin passes out
>megusta.svg
>have good idea
>unzip pants
>take a dump in cousin's mouth
>14yo cousin smothered in feces
>cousin dies from asphyxiation
>cut my dick off with a meat cleaver






>be in detention room
>no one else around but me and 9yr old gf
>be fingering gf
>break her hymen
>didn't even know about hymens
>blood everywhere
>other teacher walks in
>goes apeshit
>i get fired

>be 8​

>go over friend's house​

>playing ps2​

>she asks me if she can see my dick​

>I out whip​

>she sucks dicking my start​

>My pulsating fart dicks face all over her spaghetti​

>her mom walks in​

>her is staring at my dicks​

>never had a dick again​

​

​

​

>Be 9​

>At the park with my mom and cousin​

>mom starts talking to some lady, me and cousin trail off into woods​

>Start hitting each other, she hits my cock​

>Wtfwierdestbonerrightnow.jpg​

>Bear comes out of nowhere​

>Grabs my cousin and fucks her piehole with ungodly huge bear cock​

>omgrun​

>bear its my cousin​

>bear catches up with me, bites my dik off, but​

>i manage to escape​

>die of blood loss​

​

​

>Be 21​

>Girlfriend's 19​

>Been dating for months now​

>This guy named Joe comes out of fucking nowhere into my life​

>He's my new coworker at my company​

>Find out he has no money, no place of residence.​

>Moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel​

>Decide to open up to him​

>Keep him in my apartment for weeks​

>Bro is pretty cool​

>We play the vidya, drinks beers, watch football​

>This continues for months​

>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant​

>By all tradition, I have to marry her now.​

>One night, eating out at dinner with wife​

>Joe stayed late at the office for some overtime​

>I pop the question to my wife​

>She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine​

>She isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated​

>Go home in a fucking rage.​

>Throw out all Joe's shit​

>Gonna fucking kill Joe when he gets home.​

>Joe gets home about 1 a.m.​

>As soon as he opens the door, I fucking punch him in his bastard face​

>Eye swells up like a boll of cotton​

>He swings at me​

>Dodge and sweep his leg​

>He falls down​

>In a giant fucking rage now​

>Go to my room, grab my handgun out of my drawer​

>Go back to confront Joe​

>Joe jumps in his car and fucking hightails it out of there​

>I haven't seen or heard from him since​

>On the phone a month later with my brother​

>He finally asks why I've been so depressed​

>I tell him that if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe​

>I'd been married a long time ago​

>Where did you come from, where did you go--​

>Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?​

​

>be baby​

>fondling my phallus​

>cousin sees me​

>tells my mom​

>mom takes me to the hospital​

>they tell her to leave​

>she is freaking out, asks why​

>tells her i was just masturbating​

>be 7 days later​

>on boat trip in texas​

>exploring phallic region​

>mom sees me again​

>screams I DONT BELIEVE IT​

>i try to console her​

>i suggested she habbeeb it​

>she sucked on my twinkie​

>dad walked by​

>he killed himself with a with a boomerang​

>i twinkied all over moms face​

​

​

​

​

>be 3​

>be at moms friends house​

>she has a daughter age 16​

>go to her to her room​

>whip out 12 foot long dick of mine​

>dick slap the shit out of the 16 yo​

>literally beat her to a bloody pulp >with my dick​

>shit was so cash​

​

​

​

​

>Be phetus​

>Bitches walk into pad​

>Bitches want the futa me​

>Mom walks in​

>Three cocks fuck all three bitches​

>Dad walks in​

>Fuck Dad with entire arm​

>Kill everyone in planet​

>destroy planet​

>Make grilled cheese​

>be born​

​

>In 3rd grade
>Only black kid in school
>Friends and me are around the back of the library comparing dick sizes
>I have the biggest
>They tell me it's because I'm black
>NoFuckingClue.rar
>Come home and tell mum about it
>She looks at me and shakes my head
>"But mum why do I have the biggest dick in school? The other kids said it's because I'm black"
>Mum looks at me
> "Anon it's because you're 26"​

​

>few years later, i can actually talk at this point​

>me 6, sis 7​

>be sleeping in mom and dads bed till they go to bed​

>me 'oi sis can ah see ur twat'​

>sis 'it's not a twat its ah coont, but yeh'​

>i'm liking it, start to touch it​

>me 'sis you ken ah ta do the ol' in n' oot?'​

>sis 'well if yer goan pound meh then fuckin well pound me twat bruv!'​

>gettin hard as a rock​

>me 'sis can ah spunk in yeh"​

>sis 'well bloody well dae it then or ah'll think yer a poof!'​