Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

Discussion in 'Team Fortress 2' started by Obaruler, 31 May 2009.

  1. Obaruler German Rager/Spamer

    Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    Epic lul from the Steam forum = ) A remastered version of "meet the spy" and "Meet the sniper", have fun:

    "


    Meet the Random Drop System
    NOTE: The Meet the Spy version was written before the milestones. The Meet the Sniper version was done after the milestones were added, but I did it like before for both comedic value and because it was easier to write.




    Meet the Random Drop System (Spy version)

    Announcer: Update Alert! Valve fixing Drop System!
    Soldier: What? Valve's fixing the drop system?
    Announcer: Get ready to update!
    Soldier: We better get ready to update!
    Scout: Yo, a little help here?
    Soldier: Stand back son. Start Menu, All Programs, Steam, um... Steam!
    Scout: Let's go! Let's go!
    Heavy: FINALLY!

    *They break down door*

    Scout: Aww... it was a troll!
    Spy: Gentlemen.

    *Intro theme*

    Spy: I see the drop system is not fixed. Tell me, did anyone happen to get a new weapon on the way here? No? Then we still have a problem.

    *Shows them his backpack full of duplicates*

    Scout: Ooo. A duplicate! Big problem eh? I get plenty of 'em. The useless, delete-right-after-you-get-'em phonies. Like you! Ow! No offense...
    Spy: If you managed to delete them I assure you, they were not like me. And not like the random drop system forced upon this game!
    Scout: What, are you a fan of the system?
    Spy: No, that would be your mother!

    *Throws pictures of Scout's mom cheering Valve employees as they code the system*

    *Scout is surprised*

    Spy: Indeed. And now Valve wants to ♥♥♥♥ with us! So listen up boy, or photographs showing your mother's treachery will be the second worse thing to happen to you today.

    *Spy lights cigarette*

    Spy: They have already stolen our milestones...

    *Shows a conference room where Valve employees are crossing out milestone achievements*

    Spy: They have ruined our achievement farming...

    *Shows obscene chat on an achievement server*

    Spy: Worst of all, we have to wait for the new content...

    *Shows an achievement_idle server*

    Spy: We could have to wait hours, days! We could even have to wait...

    *Soldier shoots Spy*

    Soldier: What? It was obvious. He implemented the new system! Watch... we'll get our new weapons any second now... Any second... See? New weapons! No wait... those are duplicates...
    Heavy: So we still have baby system?
    Soldier: I guess. Alright. Who's ready to go whine on the forums?

    *Scout undisguises as Robin Walker*

    Robin Walker: Right behind you!

    *TF2 theme*

    *Robin picks up pictures*

    Robin: Ah, les faire souffrir.







    Meet the Random Drop System (Sniper version)

    *Sniper standing in an achievement_idle server. Text pops up saying, “Sniper has found: Sandvich”*

    Sniper: Yay, a duplicate.

    *Intro theme*

    Sniper: Idlin’s a good job, mate! It's easy work, outa doors. I guarantee you'll go angry-

    *Shows Sniper’s backpack full of duplicates with no Sniper unlocks*

    Sniper: -'cause at the end of the day, long as you don’t get a new weapon, someone is gonna want someone dead."

    *Shows chat full of people getting unlocks, but none showing up for Sniper*

    Sniper: WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥?!

    *Shows Sniper talking on his mic*

    Sniper: Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- Not a “farmin’ cheata’”, dad, I'm an idler! ...Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!
    Sniper: I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it.

    *Shows Sniper idling in an achievement_idle server*

    Sniper: I think it’s time for an unlock.

    *Sniper gets another Sandvich*

    Sniper: ♥♥♥♥! WHY DO I BOTHER!?

    *Fast forward of the Sniper idling and getting three more Sandviches*
    *Sniper surfs the web and goes to the Steam forums*

    Sniper: Playin'? Look mate, you know who plays for their unlocks?
    Sniper: Blokes what pee in a jar and can’t use it for a weapon! Idlers have standards.

    *Shows Sniper posting complaints*

    Sniper: Whine.

    *Sniper spams swear words in chat after getting another Sandvich*

    Sniper: Curse.

    *Shows close-up of Sniper zooming in with his rifle*

    Sniper: Go ona rampage wheneva’ you don’t get somethin’ new.

    *Proceeds to headshot a row of Heavys on an achievement map*
    *TF2 theme*

    Sniper: Dad.... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the mic!



    Enjoy!


    EDIT:
    Thank you all for the positive comments and feedback. I had no idea how awesome this was going to end up when writing it, and especially didn't know I was going to be praised for making so many people's day! I may try to convert this into a machinima sometime (even though I've never even made a GMod movie, lol).

    Thanks again for all your positive feedback!

    "
    http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=879715



    lulz ^^
     
  2. Longbow Victorique <3

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    It made my day xD
     
  3. Oli

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    That is hilarious!!!!
     
  4. shadiku nyoro~n

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    -snip-
     
  5. Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    I don't like the Sniper one too much, but the Spy one more than makes up for it :D

    Brilliant!
     
  6. Robbiebob Non Verba, Sed Acta

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    LULZ at spy one. I only wished they made a video out of this :D
     
  7. Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    Haha, that was awesome. The spy thing is cool. XD
     
  8. AgentDoubleF I just wanna make you go pop..

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    Seconded.
     
  9. Bulletproof Last one alive, Lock the door.

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    loool !!
     
  10. Dragonine OMG it's eating the moon!

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    hahahaha hilarious xD
     
  11. The Xtractor Certified Weeaboo

    Re: Meet the RANDOM DROP SYSTEM (xD)

    kwel :D nice
     

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