Backstory: I stole Gaw's camel and in a blind fit of rage he raped the first blonde homeless hobo he could find in the back of his garbage truck at gunpoint. The result: I am now the prince of Malta
Me and @Gaw have been playing a lot of Loadout lately. This game lets you do get away with pretty much anything, I love it:
Turns out that it wasn't real. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/25/stolen-big-mango-recovered-paddock-bowen