Nigerian 419 scams, I gotta love em

Nigerian 419 scams, I gotta love em

I just had one of these thru my email, aint had one for ages, however, i do like to pen a lovely response

Heres the email i got :-

Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:17:21 +0000
From: susan.collins24@btinternet.com
Subject: From Madam Susan Collins
To:

From Madam Susan Collins

Dearest

Greetings to you,

With Due Respect to God and Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground.

My name is Mrs.Susan Collins. I was born in Baltimore , Maryland ; I am married to Late Mr. Tom Collins.
He was the Director of T.C Industries. We were married for few years without a child. He died after a Cardiac Arteries Operation.

And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke).Before my husband died last year there is this sum $4 Million Dollars that he deposited with a Security Finance house here In Ivory Coast.Presently this money is still in the Vault of the Security Finance house.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to any good God fearing brother or sister that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my late Husband to help Less privilaged people, orphanages, widows and propagating the word of God.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this fund, and I do not want in away where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision to hand you over this Fund.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose.

Hoping to read from you ASAP.

God bless you as you listing to the voice of reasoning.

Yours Sister,
Mrs Susan Collins.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was my professional reply :-

Dear Susan Collins,

I feel that you must have some sort of identity crisis as well as some form of dementia. You appear to have sent an email to my purporting to be from susan.collins@btinternet.com, however, your headers clearly indicate that your email is sussancollins0157@cantv.net(which happens to be in Venezuela!). Do you think i am some sort of cunt or something? Fuck off and i hope the cancer takes root soon (cancer of the lever indeed). If you can tell me where in the body the lever is i will gladly give you my bank account and sort code details.

Should i address my email to George Agdgdgwngo (visit to find out who he is)

You must gain a command of the english language sir, you were clearly educated by yaks, or your mother & sister (whom i believe are the same person)

And for the record, i do not believe in god, I worship the devil and sacrifice children at the tabernacle, would that be an ungodly way to utilize your imaginary $4 million?

I do however, love listening to idiotic scam artists like your good self, who dont possess the intellect to pull off a successful scam.

i suggest that you visit www.419eater.com where i will be glad to post the latest scam from yourself and let other people know of your completely ill written email.

Have fun, eat shit and die!

BTW Seasons greetings

all the best

Tonk!

 

You reply = more spam :C

Book 'em Chief!

Uh...

 

[spy] Well played! [/spy]

 

"And for the record, i do not believe in god, I worship the devil and sacrifice children at the tabernacle, would that be an ungodly way to utilize your imaginary $4 million?"


HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH

 

I KNEW it!

 

lol

I'm a motherfucking ninja!